It hasn't just been about coming to the sessions, it's been about creating that community
I came in contact with the project when I lost me mam last year in June and I was just looking for a space to talk about me mam, to process my feelings, to be around people who knew what I was going through.
So, we met up every Friday afternoon for I think about 8-12 weeks and there was 3 of us. we met and we talked about how our week went. We started with why we were there and talked a little bit about the person we’d lost, and we always did some sort of activity as we were going. Normally we did weaving, which was quite a lot of fun, but I think it just gave us that space to do something while talking about how we were feeling.
It was just a really good way to do something and off load your feelings. But also, most importantly over the course of the weeks we built something together to honour the people we’ve lost. So, we decided to build a moon gate which basically was a, Cath got us a big, was it a nine-foot trampoline which we buried into the ground. And we weaved willow around it, made decorations and then ended we put a locket on for the person we’d lost in a little ceremony to honour the end of the group and the person that’d we’d lost. So that was lovely and that’s something that we can go and see and it was a really nice thing to do together to help us process what we were going through.
I haven’t really been an outdoor person really, but I think from this group and from losing me mam and just wanting to do something different, I think I have found a love for nature.
We did camping when we were kids as well so again, I think the going camping and being outside reminds me of my childhood and although I didn’t get the chance to do that with me mam when I was older, I think going camping makes me connect to my childhood.
People obviously say it gets easier and I’m not going to say that’s a lie, but I just think it doesn’t really get easy. You’ve just got to find things that help you. It’s not going to be like a year’s passed and you’re going to think, ‘oh, I’m okay now’. I think you need to push yourself because you could go one or two ways. I think the first couple of months I just went down. Whereas when I found stuff to focus on, like coming to the group. I started doing sea-dipping a bit more. I started doing stuff on my own that I would never do before. I think that pushes me to keep going.
Those little tiny bits of, joy, they don’t take it away, but for a minute or for an hour or for two hours, you have that space where you feel okay, and then the space between not feeling okay gets a bit bigger. I think my advice would be to find something like the Garden for Grief, because, for me, it hasn’t just been about coming to the sessions, it’s been about creating that community.
Danielle Sigley was interviewed in 2025 as part of the Trees of Hope project.