Planting of the tree is part of a bigger picture… but it’s kind of a beginning really, more than an end.
It was one of the adults coming to the drop in that said to me, “The National Trust are doing this thing where they’re donating this 49 trees to various communities around the country and I think you should apply for one Cath, I think we should apply for one.” So, I put in an application and was awarded one. I think there was 500 applicants and we were chosen to receive one so once I found that out, I set up a steering group and just invited anybody that had been involved in the service for bereavement support previously was welcome to be part of the steering group. And the focus of it is to create ownership amongst everybody that this tree belongs to, all of these people, and actually what we can do with it.
And I think it just really resonated or it really resonates with all of us because it’s, when the tree was cut down, there was this kind of mass outpouring of grief internationally. And I guess for some of those people they might not have ever experienced a bereavement before and this seemed to be a really significant marker in history and it felt appropriate really to reflect on this symbol of loss or the significance of this loss and I think what I wanted to also do, was celebrate the fact that yes this mighty tree was cut down and people were devasted but from that one mighty tree we have 49 saplings so, that are now spread across the country. So, the opportunity for more people to experience that connection to that tree but also connection to nature and it felt like a great opportunity to start a conversation really, around loss, bereavement and also overcoming, like a phoenix from the ashes type of thing.
I think what it means to me is I feel like it’s a gift. So I guess through my own experience of loss and perhaps through that of the people I’ve supported if it doesn’t sound weird, I always think that with every loss there is a gift that’s left, as painful as that can be. In what way has the person that’s gone, what did they gift you, with what do you still have or keep that they left with you? Whether that’s a motivation or a characteristic or a perspective on life. So the sapling to me is a gift from the original tree and it’s just, to me, it means, it’s a metaphor really for overcoming adversity I think and yeah, that it stands as a symbol of overcoming adversity.
It’s just such an amazing opportunity to shine a light on the experiences of people that are grieving because one of the worst parts about grief really is that in our society we have made it something that you’re not supposed to talk about and that is the worst thing that you can do for somebody that is bereaved. And this idea that we’re going to make it worse if we talk about it, the person that’s gone or so, I don’t know, There’s a little bit of like teenage rebellion in me that motivates me to do this work and that’s the whole kind of, “Don’t tell me what I can talk about and what I can’t talk about because we are going to talk about this really hard stuff, alright.” The stuff that people apparently don’t want to, that it’s not allowed, well we’re going to break the rules and we’re going to talk about it. And so, the tree also to me, is an opportunity to kind of be loud and proud and go, yes everybody dies and everybody experiences loss and we’re really doing ourselves a disservice by not sharing that with each other and supporting each other through that.
We’ve done it all voluntarily, we have no budget and so we don’t currently have any signage. So once the tree is planted we’re going to start fundraising to cover the cost of a sign. Because we want some information about the tree and the history of the tree, but also some information about the people involved and our stories.
Planting of the tree is part of a bigger picture which is, building on this community and continuing to provide opportunities for people to come and get support. And the tree is part of that, but it’s kind of a beginning really, more than an end.
Cath Darling was interviewed in 2025 as part of the Trees of Hope project.