Louise reflects on the symbolism of the Trees of Hope saplings
Anybody losing anyone close is bad. For me, Richard was my soulmate. So, I think it’s losing the person, but also losing your identity, your hopes for the future, all your plans, the life that you thought you were going to have and live. So, it’s just, you have to reevaluate everything. And I didn’t really know where to start or where to turn. And when I found out about the grief circle that you were offering, it just seemed like the right thing to do.
It was so helpful in meeting other people in, the same position, especially I think our group, two other similar aged women who had also lost their husbands very suddenly, but all of us were reeling from something that we certainly didn’t expect in my 40s and 50s. So, I think that, as much as it’s absolutely awful to know that other people are going through that, it was a comfort to have that shared network and support.
Linking in, I suppose, with the outdoor theme and the idea was to try and create some sort of legacy to reflect our feelings around loss, but also to celebrate those that we’d lost. We came up with an idea of utilising sea glass because we loved the idea of being at the coast and being near the sea. And how sea glass is resilient and, gets battered around and gets washed up and how it has a story to tell and yeah, and it’s also very beautiful when you find sea glass. And interestingly, Richard collected a lot of sea glass. He would often go for walks, long walks, if I wasn’t around or if he was off work and I wasn’t around, I was at work. And he would often come back and he would have pockets full of sea glass. So, he was really interested in collecting stuff on the beach like that as well.
So, it all tied in and his love of the sea and the surfing and the fact that we wanted to be at the coast. And I think making this lovely mobile that we made out of the sea glass, it was all hearts, it represented the combined ages of the partners that we’d lost. And it was this beautiful creation that we made, but through making it, we all shared our thoughts and our feelings around grief and loss. But that was a huge comfort and I think, we’ve made friendships from that and what followed on from that was this whole connection with nature and this idea of moving forward and using nature as a comfort. And then the opportunity came from that to apply for the tree sapling, didn’t it? So, and linking in with the grief and garden project into the tree sapling.
And I think he would be really pleased that we got a sapling and that there was a legacy and that there’s hope. And I suppose that almost
reflects the whole scenario of loss, doesn’t it, and grief and how, the fact that there’s these saplings have come from the tree stump and that they’ve been able to cultivate something from that. I suppose that all links into how you try and move forward and rebuild your life after loss.
And I think when it’s planted, it’ll just be another lovely place to go and visit. And obviously not for just me, for everybody, to remember their loved ones, but I’ll be able to go and remember Richard.
Louise Gulliver was interviewed in 2025 as part of the Trees of Hope Project.